Spam

I don’t need my willy extending,
Perhaps you should talk to my wife?
My wire transfer’s not really pending,
And I don’t need a coach for my life.

I’ve no need to improve my body,
So what if sand’s kicked in my face?
I’m comfortable looking this shoddy,
No need for alarms or for mace.

Nigerian Generals, I worry,
You’re losing your money again.
It’s nice that you say I must hurry,
But haven’t you thousands of men?

I don’t want free spins on casinos,
Why sell my house back to the bank?
I don’t want to date Filipinos,
I’ve found that they’re too often - Frank.

I haven’t just won a new iPhone,
I’m not the one millionth hit.
Now't lasts forever, I’ve long known,
So Yes to the Will-Writing Kit.

Send vouchers to save on my shopping,
The shops pay less tax than we do.
Save rainforests dropping by chopping,
Watch Amazon’s profits accrue.

Send news of the sad and the needy,
I've finely tuned all my heart-strings.
Just don’t send me spam from the greedy,
As a smack in the mush often stings.