TOGETHER IN PERPETUAL DREAMS

I keep dreaming that I
Am the inventor of
Perpetual motion.

I could go on...

DEFINITIONISH (part 6)

TYPOS - Most popular blood group
ISOLATE -  Not running on time
EMOTION - Ignoring Goths
DRAMATIC - Theatre flea
SINEWY - Long streak of piss
GLADIATOR - Happy cannibal husband
FUNDAMENTAL - Sponsor a nutter
HARDEN - Tough chicken

DEFINITIONISH (part 7)

REASONABLE - A trapped Matador
CONSCIOUS - A quiet fraud
BLOOMINGDALES - Unpublished Charlotte Brontë novel
NEON - Restraint technique
EDINBURGH - Trapped rabbit
BORDER - Disastrous first date
UNIVERSE - One line poem
CONVENT - A prison grill.

ROUGH-SLEEPING FIGURES

The government may be lying to us
(Adjust your tin-foil hat)
It's all to do with Corona Virus
And simple cold-hard facts.

If numbers experts calculated
Are no more than fifteen
Why are people self-isolated
In shop doorways I have seen?

THE CONSTANT TRAVELLER

We are the constant travellers.
We are all sofa-surfing on the week.
The Landlord of Time is surely a Doctor Who villain.
I know I used to hide behind my sofa when the theme music started.
We all hide from the rent-man when he comes a-knocking.
He needs paying on time with time.

DEFINITIONISH (part 5)

MANIFOLD - Contortionist
STANDARD - What bouncers do
EDIBLE - What footballers do
EMU - Electronic cattle
AEROFOIL - Chocolate wrapper
PERMEATE - Very bad hairdo
TEMPORARY - Occasionally hirsute
UNDERNEATH - Swansea
ECLIPSE - Male hairdresser

23.02.20

So much rain the forecast should be a fivecast. The wind scrumps a fruity search through the street, returning laden to leaden skies with paper from recycling boxes. Chunks of confetti celebrate a perfect marriage of wind & rain then fall to the earth.
Yesterday's news. Again.

DEFINITIONISH (part 4)

ABSOLVE - When you finally get a six-pack
ROUTINE - Adolescent Wallaby
PORTENT - Shit camping
FARTING - Something a long way away, innit
TITILLATE - Late-onset puberty
DREADNOUGHT - The fear of zero
BREEDING - Cheesy doorbell
GINGERBREAD - Redheads money

I HATER MERCATOR

Mercator
Map maker
Of some repute
Flattened
The Earth
To quite the dispute.
Africa's squashed
And Greenland's all skinny
And Britain's the same size
As Papua New Guinea.

What use a map if it isn't to scale?
Even if made to the finest detail?
Why am I upset and hold such objection?
I want to shed light on his crappy projection.

DEFINITIONISH (part 3)

MEANDER - The wife and I
PROLOGUE - Favouring cut wood
ELONGATE - Yorkshire amazement at fence
SHEEPISH - Nearly woollen
VICTIMISE - What muggers see
THINKING - A lisper drowning
JULIET - Romeo's restaurant
ASHEN - Singed chicken
MENIAL - When me knighted
FINSBURY - Helsinki Cemetery
NOBLE - Castrated
NOTORIOUS - A Labour town
SUPPOSED - Drinking and modelling
SHOULDER - Group of fish. Obvs
CELIBATE - Flogging worms to fishermen
BELITTLE - Tiny honey-gatherer
ULTIMATE - Best friend
UNITY - Lice-ridden

DEFINITIONISH (part 2)

FILIBUSTERING - Breaking horses
MATERNITY - Matthew forever
INJURY - Deliberating at a trial
LIQUIDISE - A melting gaze
DICTATOR - Funny shaped vegetable
BIGAMIST - Large Italian fog
PENTANGLE - Mixed-up Bics
TELEGRAM - Tiny, tiny TV

DEFINITIONISH

TIREDNESS - The Loch that can't sleep
BUFFALO - A fit greeting.
GARDEN - Protecting a chicken
ALPEN - A Swiss Chicken
WRITTEN - A litigious chicken
PICCALILLI - What some florists do
RICKSHAW - Dick's positive
MELLOW - Soothy Spice
YODEL - Calling for Derek
MINIMAL - Tiny shopping centre
RENDER - Built St.Paul's. Obvs
MUSIC - A poorly cow
TRIANGLE - First yoga attempt
LITIGATE - Fence arsonist
HILLOCK - A raised pillock
PAINTING - A rapper's discomfort
PARKING - Father of the monarch

AMERICA CASTRATO

Castro
Must go!
Says Kennedy
But the remedy
Turns goodbye
Into standby
For fifty years
It becomes too clear
Far from disappear
Bay of Pigs ear.

CO-CODOMAL DREAMING (part1)

I had a fight with a 10 foot man
And his 9 foot bride
Despite their might
No one won
Cos I was 12 feet wide.

THE ENTREPRENEUR'S NEW CLOTHES

She said, "Those trousers suit you, Sir,
The bag is free, no charge",
"But where are they?" I said to her,
"Oh, that's the camoflage".

PALETTABLE

Constable's colours were arresting.
Dali's quite doolally
Warhol's lasted fifteen minutes
Pollock's, quite the tally.

COURTING

I loved you when we first met
Though most of that was lust
Game and set in your love net
But match point for that bust.

THE RHYME OF THE ANCIENT PARAMOUR

I was told nowt rhymed
With 'opus'
But I'll find a good rhyme if
It chokes us.

I was told nowt rhymed
With 'purple'
Though a horses rear hind
Is its curple.

I was told nowt rhymed
With 'bulb'
And I switched off
Cos they were right.

RADIO SUM

You were sort of Radio 3
And I was Radio 1
Now we're much more
Radio 4 we make
The perfect sum.

A YEN FOR MY LOVE (title suggested by Henry Normal)

If love was currency 

Would euro to my shore?

Could I take you to dinar?

Should I pound on your door?

A peso the action

A lira light spank

Lek me be your lover

I'm not often this franc.

IN LIEU OF A HALLMARK CARD

We've never exchanged forced gifts
We've never sent each other cards
Three decades later and three kids
Our story still has its stars.

THE SPACE BETWEEN

It's not the tick and the tock

              It's the way that you fill
Of               
              The
The
              Space
Clock
              Between